MARRIAGE SEMINAR

SUNDAY 03/04/22

MAKING CHRIST THE CORNESTONE

HOW DO YOU CENTER YOUR MARRIAGE IN THE LORD?

• WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO TO MAKE A GREAT MARRIAGE?
• THE BIBLE GIVES US THE CLUE TO BUILDING A GREAT MARRIAGE WHEN IT SAYS, “UNLESS THE LORD BUILD THE HOUSE, ITS BUILDERS LABOR IN VAIN “ PSALM 127:1
• IN OTHER WORDS, THE MORE YOU ALLOW GOD TO BE THE LORD OF YOUR MARRIAGE, THE MORE COMFORTABLE AND EARTHQUAKE-PROOF IT WILL BE
• THE TRUTHS IN THE WORD OF GOD WILL REVOLUTIONIZE YOUR MARRIAGE IF YOU LEARN TO SIMPLY APPLY THE WORD OF GOD TO YOUR LIFE.
• BIBLICAL MARRIAGE AND FAMILY COUNSELLOR DOUG BRITTON WRITES THAT AFTER SUCCESSFULLY COUNSELLING WITH COUPLES, HE OFTEN ASKS WHAT ONE THING HELPED MOST.
• THE MOST COMMON ANSWER COUPLES GIVE IS THAT THEY BEGAN TO CENTER THEIR MARRIAGE IN THE LORD IN CONCRETE WAYS.
• THE MAIN KEY THEY SAY, WAS LEARNING PRACTICAL STEPS TO CENTER THEIR MARRIAGE IN THE LORD AND HOW TO PRAY TOGETHER.
• IF YOU WANT TO MAKE CHRIST THE CORNERSTONE AND CENTRE OF YOUR MARRIAGE IN THE LORD,YOU WILL HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THE FOLLOWING FACTS ABOUT BEING A CHRISTIAN:

1. YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR CHRISTIAN WALK WILL AFFECT YOUR LIFE TOGETHER THEREFORE YOU WILL HAVE TO TUNE UP YOUR OWN PERSONAL WALK WITH CHRIST MATHEW 7:1-5
2. YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW TO SET YOUR SPIRITUAL PRIORITIES RIGHT IN YOUR MARRIAGE
3. YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW TO FIND WAYS TO PRAY TOGETHER EVERY DAY
4. HOW TO ESCAPE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN PRAYING OUT LOUD
5. YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW TO MAKE ROOM FOR JESUS IN YOUR DAILY LIVES
6. YOU MAY WANT TO FIND WAYS TO FELLOWSHIPPING WITH OTHER COUPLES
7. YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW YOUR INDIVIDUAL SPIRITUAL GIFTS CAN WORK TOGETHER

• YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT IF THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE DISCOURAGED OR BITTER, IF YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE IS UNWILLING TO CENTER YOUR MARRIAGE IN THE LORD.
• THE INSIGHT IN THE BIBLE WILL HELP YOU BECOME THE BEST POSSIBLE SPOUSE AND LEAVE YOUR MATE IN GOD’S HANDS.
• THE LORD IS FAITHFUL AS YOU GROW IN HIM, HE WILL BLESS YOU IN WAYS YOU CANNOT IMAGINE.
• PUTTING JESUS FIRST IN YOUR HOME MEANS SRICTLY FOLLOWING SOLIDLY SCRIPTURAL ADVICE TO COUPLES
• TESTIMONIES ABOUND OF THE GREAT TURNAROUNDS THAT HAPPEN IN HOMES WHERE CHRIST IS ALLOWED V TO REIGN .
• GOD’S WORD WILL SURELY CHALLENGE YOU TO THINK HARD AND TAKE A PLAN OF ACTION AS YOU STAND ON GOD’S UNFAILING PROMISES FOR YOUR HOME.

NOW WHAT ARE THE STEPS TO BUILDING A CHRISTIAN HOME?

THE FIRST STEP IS TO LEARN AND MEDITATE ON SOME KEY BIBLE VERSES ON CREATING A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

• GENESIS 25:21
• ISAAC PRAYED TO THE LORD ON BEHALF OF HIS WIFE, BECAUSE SHE WAS BARREN. THE LORD ANSWERED HIS PRAYER, AND HIS WIFE REBEKAH BECAME PREGNANT
• PSALM 127:
• 1UNLESS THE LORD BUILDS HIS HOUSE, ITS BUILDERS LABOR IN VAIN. UNLESS THE LORD WATCHES OVER THE CITY, THE WATCHMEN STAND GUARD IN VAIN.
• JOSHUA 1:8
• DO NOT LET THIS BOOK OF THE LAW DEPART FROM YOUR MOUTH; MEDITATE ON IT DAY AND NIGHT, SO THAT YOU MAY BE CAREFUL TO DO EVERYTHING WRITTEN IN IT. THEN YOU WILL BE PROSPEROUS AND SUCCESSFUL.
• MATHEW 18:20
• FOR WHERE TWO OR THREE COME TOGETHER IN MY NAME, THERE AM I WITH THEM.
• MARK 12:30
• LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH
• EPHESIANS 5:26
• HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES, JUST AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH AND GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR HER TO MAKE HER HOLY, CLEANSING HER BY THE WASHING WITH WATER THROUGH THE WORD.
• COLOSSIANS 4:2
• DEVOTE YOURSELF TO PRAYER, BEING WATCHFUL AND THANKFUL.
• 1 THESSALONIANS 5:1
• FINALLY, BROTHERS, WE INSTRUCTED YOU HOW TO LIVE IN ORDER TO PLEASE GOD, AS IN FACT YOU ARE LIVING.NOW WE ASK YOU AND URGE YOU IN THE LORD JESUS TO DO THIS MORE AND MORETHEREFORE ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER AND BUILD EACH OTHER UP, JUST AS IN FACT YOU ARE DOING
• 1 PETER 2:9.
• BUT YOU ARE A CHOSEN PEOPLE, A ROYAL PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLEL BELONGING TO GOD, THAT YOU MAY DECLARE THE PRAISES OF HIM WHO CALLED YOU OUT OF DARKNESS INTO HIS WONDERFUL LIGHT.
• THE SECOND STEP IS COMMIT TO YOUR MARRIAGE: DO NOT DIVORCE

HERE ARE SOME BIBLE VERSES ON COMMITMENT

• MATHEW 19:6
• THEREFORE WHATEVER GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER, LET MAN NOT SEPARATE
• YOU MUST REJECT ALL THE UNSCRIPTURAL REASONS FOR DIVORCE
• COMPLETE COMMITMENT TO YOUR MARRIAGE PROVIDES A FOUNDATION OF DEPENDABILITY AND TRUST.
• IT TAKES YOU THROUGH TOUGH TIMES AND STEERS YOU TOWARD GODLY SOLUTIONS.
• A LACK OF COMMITMENT WILL WEAKEN YOUR STRENGTH, DETERMINATION AND RESOURCEFULNESS. IT CAN EVEN LEAD TO TRAGEDY.
• MARRIAGE CAN BE COMPARED TO A MARATHON RACE.
• IF YOU DON’T COMMIT YOURSELF TO RUNNING THE DISTANCE NO MATTER WHAT THE COST, YOUR CHANCES OF DROPPING OUT ALONG THE WAY WILL INCREASE AS YOU RUN ALONG .
• BUT IF YOU ARE DETEREMINED TO WIN , YOU WILL FIND UNFORESEEN STRENGTH TO OVERCOME EVERY OBSTACLE.
• EMBRACE GOD’S ATTITUDE ABOUT MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE
• MARK 10:1-12
• And he arose from thence, and cometh into the coasts of Judaea by the farther side of Jordan: and the people resort unto him again; and, as he was wont, he taught them again.
• 2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.
• 3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?
• 4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.
• 5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
• 6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
• 7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
• 8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
• 9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
• 10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.
• 11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
• 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
• THE BIBLE SAYS THAT WHEN TWO ARE JOINED TOGETHER IN MARRIGE, THEY ARE NO LONGER TWO, BUT ONE, GENESIS 2:23-25,
• And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
• YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE ARE “ONE” NO MATTER HOW POORLY YOUR MARRIAGE IS FUNCTIONING.
• THE WORD OF God SAYS YOU ARE ONE AND THAT GOD HATES DIVORCE.
• STUDY THE FOLLOWING SCRIPTURES TO SEE HOW SERIOUS THE LORD IS ABOUT DIVORCE
• “I HATE DIVORCE, SAYS THE LORD GOD OF ISRAEL IN MALACH 2:16
• MALACH 2:1-18
• And now, O ye priests, this commandment is for you.
• 2 If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the LORD of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart.
• 3 Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it. 4 And ye shall know that I have sent this commandment unto you, that my covenant might be with Levi, saith the LORD of hosts. 5 My covenant was with him of life and peace; and I gave them to him for the fear wherewith he feared me, and was afraid before my name. 6 The law of truth was in his mouth, and iniquity was not found in his lips: he walked with me in peace and equity, and did turn many away from iniquity. 7 For the priest’s lips should keep knowledge, and they should seek the law at his mouth: for he is the messenger of the LORD of hosts. 8 But ye are departed out of the way; ye have caused many to stumble at the law; ye have corrupted the covenant of Levi, saith the LORD of hosts. 9 Therefore have I also made you contemptible and base before all the people, according as ye have not kept my ways, but have been partial in the law.
• 10 ¶ Have we not all one father? hath not one God created us? why do we deal treacherously every man against hi Judah hath dealt treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah hath profaned the holiness of the LORD which he loved, and hath married the daughter of a strange god.
• 12 The LORD will cut off the man that doeth this, the master and the scholar, out of the tabernacles of Jacob, and him that offereth an offering unto the LORD of hosts. 13 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. 17 Ye have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, Every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delighteth in them; or, Where is the God of judgment?s
• DIVORCE, IN GOD’S EYES, IS NOT AN OPTION EXCEPT IN SPECIFIC SITUATIONS
• AND EVEN THEN, FORGIVENESS AND REBUILDING ARE USUALLY THE BEST.
• MATHEW 19:1-8
• And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judaea beyond Jordan; 2 And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.
• 3 ¶ The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
• 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
• 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
• MARK 10:11-12
• ANY WHO DIVORCES HIS WIFE AND MARRIES ANOTHER WOMAN COMMITS ADULTERY AGAINST HER, AND IF SHE DIVORCES HER HUSBAND AND MARRIES ANOTHER MAN, SHE COMMITS ADULTERY
• 1 CORINTHIANS 7:12-13
• IF ANY BROTHER HAS A WIFE WHO IS NOT BELIVER AND SHE IS WILLING TO LIVE WITH HIM, HE MUST NOT DIVORCE HER. AND IF A WOMAN HAS A HUSBAND WHO IS NOT A BELIVER AND HE IS WILLING TO LIVE WITH HER, SHE MUST NOT DIVORCE HIM.
• MANY CHRISTIANS WOULD PROBABLY NOT BE MARRIED TODAY IF GOD ALLOWED DIVORCE.
• EARLY IN EVERY MARRIAGE, THERE WILL BE TIMES WHEN EACH OF WOULD LIKE TO GET OUT OF THE MARRIAGE.
• GENUINE CHRISTIANS, WILL NEVER SEEK DIVORCE BECAUSE THEY KNOW IT IS SINFUL.
• AS GOD’S CHILDREN,THIS KNOWLEDGE IS THE ONLY THING THAT HOLDS US TOGETHER THROUGH DIFFICULT YEARS IN OUR HOMES AND IT WILL SURELY PUSH US TO IMPROVE OUR MARRIAGE.
• THIS HAS BEEN THE EXPERIENCE OF MY HUSBAND AND I
• NOW, AS WE ENJOY A HAPPY MARRIAGE, WE ARE GRATEFUL FOR GOD’S COMMANDS AGAINST DIVORCE, WE NEEDED THEM.
• DO NOT REBEL AGAINST GOD AND RUSH TO DIVORCE ,YOU WILL REGRET IT
• IT IS HARD TO OVERSTATE HOW MUCH GOD HATES DIVORCE.
• JESUS SAID THAT TO DIVORCE FOR UNSCRIPTURAL REASONS AND THEN REMARRY IS TO COMMIT ADULTERY.
• WE ALL KNOW THAT ADULTERERS WILL SURELY GO TO HELL
• 1 COR 6:8-10
• Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren.
• 9 ¶ Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
• 10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
• YET MANY PEOPLE WHO PROFESS CHRISTIANITY PLAY GAMES WITH GOD BY DIVORCING AND THEN CRUISING ALONG AS IF GOD DID NOT MIND.
• THEY OFTEN CONTINUE TO ATTEND CHURCH AND ENGAGE IN “SPIRITUAL” ACTIVITIES OR MINISTRIES, THINKING EVERYTHING IS FINE.
• THEY LOOK GOOD ON THE OUTSIDE. BUT READ WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT THEM IN
• MALACH 2:13-14
• YOU FLOOD THE LORD’S ALTAR WITH TEARS. YOU WEEP AND WAIL BECAUSE HE NO LONGER PAYS ATTENTION TO YOUR OFFERINGS OR ACCEPTS THEM WITH PLEASURE FROM YOUR HANDS. YOU ASK, “WHY?” IT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE BROKEN FAITH WITH HER, THOUGH SHE IS YOUR PARTNER, THE WIFE OF YOUR MARRIAGE COVENANT
• IN OTHER WORDS, WHEN YOU DIVORCE FOR UNSCRIPTURAL REASONS, YOU DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN YOURSELF AND GOD,
• FOR YOU ARE REBELLING AGAINST HIM.AND THE BIBLE SAYS THE REBELLIOUS WILL DWELL IN A DRY LAND
• PSALMS:68:6: GOD SETTETH THE SOLITARY IN FAMILIES: HE BRINGETH OUT THOSE WHICH ARE BOUND WITH CHAINS: BUT THE REBELLIOUS DWELL IN A DRY LAND.
• THE THIRD STEP IS REALISE THAT DIVORCE HAS CONSEQUENCES
• UNSCRIPTURAL DIVORCE ALWAYS BRINGS PAINFUL CONSEQUENCES.
• NOT ONLY DO YOU DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM GOD WHEN YOU DIVORCE YOU ALSO DAMAGE YOUR SPOUSE, WOUND YOUR CHILDREN, AND INJURE OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS,
• YOU YOUR HURT FRIENDS, YOU SET THE STAGE FOR FUTURE PAIN FOR YOURSELF AND BRING SHAME UPON THE NAME OF CHRIST.
• WHEN YOU DO THINGS GOD’S WAY, THINGS WORK OUT BEST.
• ON THE OTHER HAND, WHEN YOU DISOBEY GOD PROBLEMS EVENTUALLY COME.
• IF YOU DIVORCE FOR UNSCRIPTURAL REASONS, THE ODDS ARE HIGH THAT YOU WILL REGRET IT BEFORE YOU DIE.
• YOU ARE CERTAIN TO REGRET IT WHEN YOU STAND BEFORE GOD.
• NEVER SAY, “LET’S DIVORCE”
• SUGGESTING DIVORCE WITHOUT SCRIPTURAL REASONS OPENS THE DOOR TO SIN.
• WHEN YOU ARE BROKE YOU WOULD NEVER SAY, “LET’S ROB A BANK.”
• ALONG THE SAME LINES, WHEN YOU ARE UNHAPPY, DO NOT SAY, “LET’S DIVORCE,”
• “I DON’T SEE WHY WE SHOULD STAY MARRIED” OR “YOU’D BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME.”

NOW DOES GOD EVER ALLOW DIVORCE?

ALTHOUGH THE BIBLE STRESSES THE IMPORTANCE AND PERMANENCE OF MARRIGE, IT PERMITS DIVORCE IN TWO CIRCUMSTANCES

1. DIVORCE IS ALLOWED FOR SEXUAL IMMORALITY

• JESUS SAID YOU MAY IF YOUR SPOUSE IS SEXUALLY UNFAITHFUL.
• NOTICE, HOWEVER THAT HE DID NOT COMMAND YOU TO DIVORCE. HE MERELY SAID IT IS PERMISSIBLE.
• MATHEW 19:9
• I TELL YOU THAT ANYONE WHO DIVORCES HIS WIFE, EXCEPT FOR MARITAL UNFAITHFULNESS, AND MARRIES ANOTHER WOMAN COMMITS ADULTERY
• JESUS SAID GOD ONLY ALLOWED DIVORCE IN THE OLD TESTAMENT BECAUSE OF THE HARDNESS OF THE PEOPLE’S HEARTS (MATHEW 19:8)
• SOME PEOPLE THINK THIS MEANS CHRISTIANS NEVER SHOULD DIVORCE SINCE JESUS TOOK AWAY OUR HARD HEARTS WHEN WE WERE BORN AGAIN.
• HOWEVER, THIS CONTRADICTS WHAT JESUS SAID IN MATHEW 19:9.
• HE WOULD NOT HAVE GIVEN AN EXCEPTION UNLESS HE MEANT IT.
• HOWEVER, IT IS USUALLY BETTER TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE THAN DIVORCE.
• THERE ARE MANY MARRIAGES IN WHICH THE OFFENDER ASKED FOR FORGIVENESS,
• THE BETRAYED PARTNER FORGAVE AND THE TWO SUCCESSFULLY REBUILT THEIR RELATIONSHIP.
• THE PROCESS WAS PAINFUL AND INVOLVED HARD WORK, BUT THE RESULTS WERE WORTH THE EFFORT.
• GOD WAS GLORIFIED AND THEY ENDED UP WITH GREAT MARRIAGES.

2. DIVORCE IS ALLOWED IF AN UNBELIVER LEAVES.

• IF YOU ARE MARRIED TO AN UNBELIEVER, IT IS GOD’S DESIRE FOR YOU TO STAY MARRIED; 1 PETER 3:1-6.
• HOWEVER, IF YOUR UNBELIEVING SPOUSE LEAVES YOU, “ARE NOT BOUND”
• TO THE REST I SAY THIS (I, NOT THE LORD):
• ( 1 CORINTHIANS 7:12-14, 16
• IF ANY BROTHER HAS A WIFE WHO IS NOT A BELIEVER AND SHE IS WILLING TO LIVE WITH HIM, HE MUST NOT DIVORCE HER.
• AND IF A WOMAN HAS A HUSBAND WHO IS NOT A BELIEVER AND HE IS WILLING TO LIVE WITH HER, SHE MUST NOT DIVORCE HIM.
• FOR THE UNBELIEVING HUSBAND HAS BEEN SANCTIFED THROUGH HIS WIFE, AND THE UNBELIEVING WIFE HAS BEEN SANCTIFIED THROUGH HER UNBELIEVING HUSBAND. OTHERWISE YOUR CHILDREN WOULD BE CLEAN, BUT AS IT IS, THEY ARE HOLY.
• BUT IF THE UNBELIEVER LEAVES, LET HIM DO SO. A BELIEVING MAN OR WOMAN IS NOT BOUND IN SUCH CIRCUMSTANCES

PLEASE NOTE THAT DIVORCE IS NOT PERMITTED FOR “EMOTIONAL DESERTION.”

• SOME SAY THE PREVIOUS VERSES JUSTIFY DIVORCE EVEN IF THEIR SPOUSE DOES NOT PHYSICALLY LEAVE HOME.
• THEY STATE THEY ARE FREE TO DIVORCE IF THEIR MATE HAS BEEN UNPLEASANT FINANCIALLY IRRESPONSIBLE, SEXUALLY UNAVAILABLE, EMOTIONALLY REMOVED OR PHYSICALLY VIOLENT.
• HOW DO THEY COME TO SUCH A CONCLUSION? BY SAYING THAT THEIR SPOUSE “LEFT” OR “DESERTED” THEM EMOTIONALLY.
• SUCH LOGIC TWISTS THE CLEAR MEANING OF THE ABOVE PASSAGE, NOT TO MENTION GOD’S COMMANDS THROUGHOUT THE NEW TESTAMENT.
• PAUL WAS WRITING ABOUT LEAVING PHYSICALLY WE ALL ARE MARRIED TO IMPERFECT SPOUSES AND AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER COULD JUSTIFY DIVORCE BECAUSE OF “EMOTIONAL DESERTION.”

ARE THERE ANY OTHER TIME GOD ALLOWS DIVORCE?

• HOWEVER, THERE ARE MAY BE TIMES WHEN IT’S HARD TO KNOW WHAT TO DO.
• FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOUR MATE IS JAILED FOR PHYSICALLY ABUSING YOU, THIS COULD QUALIFY AS A TIME WHEN DIVORCE IS PERMISSIBLE SINCE YOUR UNBELIEVING SPOUSE LEFT YOU.
• IF YOU ARE UNSURE ABOUT YOUR CIRMUSTANCES, TALK WITH A WISE PASTOR OR COUNSELOR
• TALK TO SOMEONE COMMITTED TO HELPING YOU DISCOVER HOW GOD’S WORD APPLIES IN YOUR SITUATION, NOT SOMEONE WHOSE BASIC PHILOSOPHY IS , “IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY, DIVORCE.

WHAT IF YOU HAVE ALREADY DIVORCED?

• IF YOU DIVORCED FOR UNBIBLICAL REASONS, PARTICULARLY IF YOU WERE A CHRISTIAN WHEN YOU DID SO, YOU NEED TO FACE THE AWFULNESS AND SERIOUSNESS OF YOUR SIN.
• DO NOT PRETEND THAT DIVORCING YOUR SPOUSE WAS NOT SINFUL OR THAT IT SOMEHOW WAS OKAY WITH GOD. IT WAS NOT.
• I AM EXTREMELY CONCERNED FOR CHRISTIANS WHO DIVORCE AND REMARRY FOR UNSCRIPTURAL REASONS AND ARE NOT WILLING TO FACE THE LARGENESS OF THEIR SIN.
• WHEN WE CHOOSE TO SIN, WE HARDEN OUR HEARTS TOWARD GOD AND HIS COMMANDMENTS.
• THEN RATHER THAN GENUINELY CONFESSING, WE JUSTIFY OUR ACTIONS.
• PEOPLE SAY, FOR EXAMPLE, “I KNOW IT WAS A SIN, BUT IT WAS THE ONLY THING I COULD DO. “OR, “WE LIVE UNDER GRACE, NOT LAW.
• “OR, “ I KNEW IT WAS WRONG, BUT JESUS TOLD ME HE WOULD FORGIVE ME IF I DID IT.”
• NONSENSE. IT WAS NOT JESUS WHO TOLD THEM IT WAS OKAY TO DIVORCE, HE COMMANDED US NOT TO DIVORCE AND ADDED THAT IF WE DIVORCE FOR UNSCRIPTURAL REASONS AND REMARY, WE COMMIT ADULTERY MATHEW 19:9

THE BIBLE USES STINGING WORDS TO DESCRIBE THOSE WHO JUSTIFY SIN BY SAYING “WE LIVE UNDER GRACE. REMEMBER JUDE’S WORDS:

• JUDE 4
• THE ARE GODLESS MEN , WHO CHANGE THE GRACE OF OUR GOD INTO A LICENSE FOR IMMORALITY AND DENY JESUS CHRIST OUR ONLY SOVEREIGN AND LORD
• SOME WOULD SAY I KNOW THE BIBLE CONDEMNS DIVORCE, BUT I PLANTO GET DIVORCED ANYWAY BECAUSE GOD IS A FORGIVING GOD.
• A WOMAN PROTESTED AND WROTE LETTERS PLEADING FOR ANOTHER CHANCE.
• HER HUSBAND’S RESPONSE, EVEN AS HE WENT THROUGH THE DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, WAS TO GIVE HER ANGRY SPEECHES, SAYING SHE MUST FORGIVE HIM BECAUSE SHE WAS A CHRISTIAN.
• HE DIVORCED HER, MARRIED ANOTHER WOMAN, AND NOW ATTENDS CHURCH AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED.
• ANOTHER WOMAN TOLD HER HUSBAND SHE INTENDED TO DIVORCE HIM AND THEN MARRY A MAN WHO WAS DIVORCING HIS WIFE.
• SHE SAID THEY PLANNED TO APPROACH THEIR CHURCH AND ASK FORGIVENESS AFTER MARRYING.
• SHE CLEARLY WAS PLAYING GAMES WITH GOD AND CHOOSING TO REBEL AGAINST HIS WORD.
• HER PLANNED “REPENTANCE” WAS A SHARM.
• I COULD GO ON AND ON DESCRIBING PEOPLE’S RATIONALIZATIONS FOR DIVORCE.
• FOR EXAMPLE, SOME SAY, “AFTER I DIVORCE AND MARRY SOMEONE ELSE, WE WILL COMMIT ADULTERY THE FIRST TIME WE HAVE SEX, AFTER THAT IT WONT BE ADULTERY.”
• THOSE WHO JUSTIFY SIN WILL NOT BE SO NONCHALANT WHEN THEY STAND BEFORE GOD IN JUDGEMENT. HE IS NOT IMPRESSED BY OUR EXCUSES
• 2 CORINTHIANS 5:10
• FOR WE MUST ALL APPEAR BEFORE THE JUDGEMENT SEAT OF CHRIST, THAT EACH ONE MAY RECEIVE WHAT IS DUE HIM FOR THE THINGS DONE WHILE IN THE BODY, WHETHER GOOD OR BAD

• IF YOU DIVORCED YOUR SPOUSE FOR UNSCRIPTURAL REASONS AND YOU BOTH ARE CHRISTIANS, YOU PROBABLY SHOULD PURSUE RESTORATION OF YOUR MARRIAGE IF NEITHER OF YOU HAS REMARRIED.
• ALWAYS SEEK COUNSEL FROM A BIBLE-BELIEVING PASTOR BEFORE YOU MAKE A DECISIONTO DIVORCE
• IF YOU WERE A CHRISTIAN WHEN YOU DIVORCED AND HAVE MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE CONFESS THAT YOU STARTED IN SIN.
• IF YOU TRULY CONFESS, CHRIST WILL FORGIVE 1 JOHN 1:9 AND HELP YOU DEAL WITH THE MESS YOU CREATED. BY TRULY CONFESS

1.TO CONFESS MEANS TO GENUINELY FACE THE AWFULNESS OF THE SIN OF DIVORCING

2. ACKNOWLEDGE THAT IF YOU COULD MAKE THE DECISION AGAIN YOU WOULD NOT DIVORCE.

• ANYTHING ELSE WOULD BE HALF-HEARTED AND COME SHORT OF GENUINE CONFESSION.
• AFTER CONFESSING YOUR SIN, DO NOT DIVORCE YOUR PRESENT SPOUSE TO REMARRY YOUR PREVIOUS MATE.
• DEUT 24:1-4
• When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife.3 And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;
• 4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.
• YOU CANNOT UNDO THE EFFECT OF SIN BY SINNING AGAIN.
• THERE IS HOPE IN THE LORD, EVEN IN THIS UNGODLY SITUATION.
• WHEN WE DISOBEY GOD’S WORD, WE SUFFER.
• BUT WHEN WE HONESTLY AND HUMBLY CONFESS OUR SINS, CHRIST HELPS US PUT THE PAST BEHIND AND PRESS ON. AS PAUL WROTE:
• PHILIPIANS 3:13-14

• FORGETTING WHAT IS BEHIND, AND STRAINING TOWARD WHAT IS AHEAD, I PRESS ON TOWARD THE GOAL TO WIN THE PRIZE FOR WHICH GOD CALLED ME HEAVENWARD IN CHRIST JESUS HOWEVER, DO NOT BE NONCHALANT ABOUT “FORGETTING WHAT IS BEHIND.”
• YOU HAVE HARMED OTHERS AND NEED TO DO WHAT YOU CAN TO PROMOTE HEALING.
• AT LEAST, YOU PROBABLY SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO YOUR EX-SPOUSE, CHILDREN, CLOSE FRIENDS AND CHURCH.
• WHEN YOU OFFER AN APOLOGY, DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES.
• BE SURE TO RESPOND WITH UNDERSTANDING, PATIENCE AND LOVE IF OTHERS DO NOT FORGIVE YOU.
• IF YOU GOT MARRIED BECAUSE OF PREGNANCY THEN YOU STARTED YOUR MARRIAGE IN A BAD WAY AND SUFFERED MANY UNPLEASANT CONSEQUENCES.
• HOWEVER, WE EVENTUALLY TURNED TO GOD AND CONFESSED OUR SINS.
• ALTHOUGH WE HAD TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES, WE ALSO EXPERIENCED THE GRACE OF GOD AND HAVE ENJOYED AN EVER-GROWING AND DEEPLY SATISFYING MARRIAGE.
• WHEN YOU GENUINELY CONFESS YOUR SINS, GOD BUILDS MANSIONS OUT OF ASHES.

THERE IS HOPE IN THE LORD

• MANY PEOPLE SAY DIVORCE BRINGS FREEDOM. THAT IS NO MORE TRUE THAN THE SERPENT’S PROMISES TO EVE IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN GENESIS 3:1-5.
• LIVING ACCORDING TO GOD’S WORD PROVIDES TRUE FREEDOM
• THE FREEDOM OF A CLEAN CONSCIENCE, FREEDOM FROM THE TYRANNY AND CONSEQUENCES OF SIN AND FREEDOM TO ENJOY GOD’S LOVE.
• EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU ARE STUCK WITH A MISERABLE MARRIAGE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, TAKE HEART AND TRUST GOD TO SEE YOU THROUGH.
• GOD LOVES YOU AND WANTS THE BEST FOR YOU. HIS COMMANDS ARE FOR YOUR GOOD.
• AS YOU READ THE BIBLE AND GROW IN THE LORD, YOU WILL DISCOVER PRINCIPLES TO HELP YOU LIVE WITH SATISFACTION AND JOY REGARDLESS OF YOUR SITUATION.
• YOU WILL ALSO LEARN MANY WAYS TO TRANFORM AN UNSATISFYING MARRIAGE INTO A GREAT ONE

PRAYERS SONG: SHINE JESUS SHINE

• YOU MUST FIRST DECIDE TO BE TRULY SAVED AND ABSOLUTELY HOLY AND OBEDIENT  TO GOD’S WORD
• CHRIST HAS PROMISED NEVER TO LEAVE US NOR FORSAKE US, HE HAS PROMISED TO DO A NEW THING IN OUR LIVES. IS 43: 19
• PLEASE PRAY THE FOLLOWING PRAYER POINTS WITH HOLY ANGER.

1. PSALM 51 FOR PROPER REPENTANCE AND DELIVERANCE TO TAKE PLACE
2. FATHER IN THE NAME OF I COMMAND ALLTHE EFFECTS OF THE CURSE OF SEXUAL IMPURITY FROM MY PAST BE BROKEN AND DESTROYED NOW IN JESUS NAME
3. I CONCEL EVERY SEED THAT THE ENEMY MIGHT HAVE PLANTED IN MY LIFE THROUGH PREVIOUS SINFUL SEXUAL ENTANGLEMENT IN JESUS NAME
4. I BREAK AND CANCEL EVERY NEGATIVE SOUL TIE IN JESUS NAME
5. FATHER LET THE GRACE REMAIN PURE IN COURTSHIP AND EVEN IN MARRIAGE BE RELEASED ON ALL OUR YOUNG CHILDREN IN JESUS NAME
6. EVERY FUTURE OR CURRENT SPOUSE OF GOD’S CHILDREN BEING CAGED BY THE ENEMY BE RELEASED, BE RELEASED, AND BE RELEASED BY THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST IN JESUS NAME
7. HOLY SPIRIT PLEASE GIVE CONVICTION AND BOLDNESS TO SAY NO TO SIN TO ALL YOUNG PEOPLE IN JESUS NAME
8. FATHER LET EVERY SPOUSE BE SELFLESS AND PUT THE OTHER’S NEEDS FIRST IN JESUS NAME
9. WE BREAK THE IMPACT OF NEGATIVE UPBRINGING ON OUR HOMES AND MARRIAGES IN THIS NATION IN JESUS NAME
10. LET THE WORD OF GOD HEAL THE GENERATIONAL CURSES AND IMPACTS THAT PARENTS LEFT AS POOR ROLE MODELS FOR MARRIAGE IN OUR LIVES IN JESUS NAME
11. LET THE LORD’S STANDARD FOR MARRIAGE BE IN THIS NATION’S STANDARD IN JESUS NAME
12. I RELEASE ALL MY MARITAL BLESSINGS WHICH THE ENEMY HAS CAGED IN JESUS NAME
13. I REJECT THE CURSE OF DIVORCE FROM MY LIFE IN JESUS NAME
14. ASK THE LORD TO FORGIVE AND CLEANSE YOU FROM ANY SIN THAT COULD HINDER YOU FROM MEETING GOD’S CHOSEN PARTNER FOR YOUR LIFE
15. SPEAK TO THE GOLIATH OF PROLONGED DELAY AND COMMAND HIM TO MOVE IN JESUS NAME
16. I TEAR DOWN EVERY CURSE OF DELAY, POSTPONEMENT, CANCELLATION AND DISAPOINTMENTS IN MARRIAGE IN JESUS NAME
17. FATHER OPEN MY EYES TO SEE THE QUALITIES IN MY SPOUSE
18. I DECREE ALL MARRIAGE FREE FROM OPPRESSION AND DEPRESSION IN JESUS NAME
19. FATHER GRANT UNTO YOUR CHILDREN THE GRACE AND POWER TO WAIT PATIENTLY FOR YOUR WILL, IN PURITY AND GODLY FEAR IN JESUS NAME
20. THANK GOD FOR HE WILL MAKE YOU A SOURCE OF JOY AND BLESSING TO YOUR SPOUSE AND FAMILY IN JESUS NAME
21. DIVORCE YOURSELF FROM EVERY SPIRIT HUSBAND OR WIFE IN JESUS NAME
22. PRAY THAT YOU WILL BE A SOURCE OF JOY TO YOUR SPOUSE AND CHILDREN AND VICE-VERSA IN JESUS NAME
23. FATHER IN JESUS NAME I DESTROY EVERY WEAPON FASHIONED AGAINST MY HOME
24. COVER YOUR HOME WITH THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST