FULFILLING A MAN`S NEEDS IN MARRIAGE

  • MEN AND WOMEN HAVE DIFFERENT NEEDS.
  • THE WORD OF GOD CLEARLY TELLS YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX.
  • GEN. 3 :17 FOR EXAMPLE, SAYS THAT BECAUSE ADAM FAILED TO OBEY GOD`S WORD THE GROUND WAS CURSED FOR HIS SAKE AND HIS LABOUR WOULD BE HARD.
  • HENCE, A MAN`S ORIENTATION IS FOR SIGNIFICANCE. EVERY MAN WANTS TO MAKE IT IN LIFE.
  • MEN ARE THEREFORE TASK ORIENTED AND MEASURE SUCCESS BY WHAT THEY DO.
  • WHEREAS A WOMAN`S MAJOR CONCERN IS TO NURTURE AND MANAGE THE HOME AND THE CHILDREN.
  • SHE TEACHES HER CHILDREN WISDOM AND WANTS TO ENCOURAGE HER HOUSEHOLD, BY ASSURING COMFORT AND LOVE. PROV. 31 :26-31
  • A CHRISTIAN WOMAN`S PRIMARY CONCERN IS FOR HER AND HOUSEHOLD IS THE FEAR OF THE LORD.
  • A MAN`S WAY OF NURTURING IS TO PROVIDE.HIS MAIN CONCERN IS MONEY.
  • A MAN’S CONSTANT QUESTIONS ARE AM I MAKING ENOUGH TO KEEP MY FAMILY SECURE?
  • AM I MEETING ALL MY FAMILY NEEDS?
  • THE MONEY YOUR HUSBAND MAKES AND THE WAY HE PROVIDES FOR HIS FAMILY ARE HIS MAJOR CONCERN.
  • HE MEASURES SUCCESS AND FAILURE OR PERHAPS LOVE AND HATRED BY HOW GOOD A PROVIDER HE MAY OR MAY NOT BE TO THOSE WHOM HE LOVES.
  • HERE ARE SOME BASIC PRINCIPLES THAT YOU NEED TO DILIGENTLY APPLY AS A WOMAN, IN ORDER TO SHOW YOUR HUSBAND THAT YOU LOVE HIM AND THAT YOU DESIRE FOR HIM TO BE THE BEST INDIVIDUAL HE CAN BE.

SHOW SOME RESPECT

  • EVERYTHING A MAN IS AND DOES IS TIED TO RESPECT.
  • HE NEEDS YOU TO RESPECT HIM, BECAUSE HIS SELF WORTH DEPENDS ON IT
  • TO DISRESPECT A MAN GOES RIGHT TO THE HEART OF HIS BEING AND DRASTICALLY CHANGES HIM.
  • DISRESPECT WOULD WOUND ANY MAN AND TAKES AWAY ALL HIS ENERGY AND WILLINGNESS TO DO THINGS RIGHT!
  • WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT LAZY, SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED HUSBANDS.
  • WE ARE TALKING ABOUT HUSBANDS WHO ARE DOING THEIR BEST TO PROVIDE FOR AND PROTECT THEIR WIVES AND FAMILY.
  • ALTHOUGH SUCH HUSBANDS MAY MAKE SERIOUS MISTAKES ALONG THE WAY, YOU MUST RESPECT HIS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AND OPINIONS EVEN IF HE IS NOT YET BORN AGAIN.
  • WHEN YOU RESPECT YOUR HUSBANDS GOD GIVEN POSITION AS THE LEADER AND PROVIDER FOR YOUR FAMILY YOU ARE RESPECTING GOD`S WORD OF AUTHORITY

HOW TO SHOW YOUR MAN HIS ONE RESPECT

  1. BE HIS BEST FRIEND IN TIME OF NEED.
  • IF A MAN IS FEELING THOSE PRESSURES OR HIS GOD – GIVEN BURDENS OR CONCERNS ABOUT PROVISION FOR HIS FAMILY NEEDS IT IS USUALLY DIFFICULT FOR HIM TO TALK ABOUT IT.
  • SOMETIMES THE ISSUES ARE “MANLY AND PRIVATE”, AT LEAST SO HE FEELS.
  • AT THAT TIME BE SENSITIVE TO HIS NEEDS
  • JUST PRAY FOR HIM AND DON`T FORCE HIM TO OPEN UP
  • WHEN HE SEES YOUR TENDERNESS AND CONCERN HE WILL OPEN UP.
  • WHEN YOU PRAY FOR HIM, GOD WILL GIVE YOU A WORD IN SEASON TO SPEAK FOR COMFORT. IS. 50 :4
  • HELP HIM TO SEE OR TO REMEMBER THAT GOD HAS ALWAYS BROUGHT YOU BOTH THROUGH DIFFICULT TIMES AND THAT HE WON`T ABANDON YOU NOW.
  • SHOW HIM THROUGH THE WORD THAT HE IS GOD`S SON AND GOD`S MINISTER TO HIS HOUSEHOLD AND THAT GOD IS WITH HIM.
  • THEN PRAY TOGETHER TO RECEIVE THE WISDOM YOU NEED FOR THE SITUATION AT HAND.
  • REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE HIS CONFIDANT.
  • BY CONFIDING IN YOU, HE`S PUTTING HIS HEART INTO YOUR HANDS.
  • YOU MUST TREAT THAT HEART WITH HONOR AND HOLD IT CAREFULLY.
  • HE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT YOU WILL NOT BETRAY HIM BY TELLING HIS BUSINESS TO AN OUTSIDER SUCH AS A FRIEND OR ANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER.
  • IN ADDITION IF YOUR HUSBAND TELLS YOU OR INDICATE THAT HE NEEDS SOMETHING FROM YOU, RESPECT WHAT HE TELLS YOU WHETHER YOU AGREE WITH HIM OR NOT.
  • MAKE THE ADJUSTMENTS AND DO YOUR BEST TO MEET THAT NEED.
  • YOU MUST RESIST THE SPIRIT OF SELFISHNESS AT THAT TIME!
  1. TELL HIM HE`S IMPORTANT
  • A MAN NEEDS TO KNOW THAT HE MATTERS AND THAT HE IS VERY IMPORTANT TO HIS FAMILY.
  • IF HE THINKS HE IS WORTHLESS, HE WILL WALK AROUND FEELINGS INSECURE, INFERIOR AND INADEQUATE.
  • YOU CAN CHANGE ALL THAT BY TELLING HIM HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM AND NEED HIM IN YOUR LIFE.
  • HOW IMPORTANT HE IS TO YOU AND THE ENTIRE FAMILY
  • MEN LOVE TO FEEL RELEVANT AND IMPORTANT.
  1. HAVE A MEEK AND QUIET SPIRIT
  • 1PET. 3 :4 STATES THAT A MEEK AND QUIET SPIRIT IS OF VALUE TO GOD.
  • THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU SIT IN A CORNER AND NEVER SPEAK; IT SIMPLY MEANS THAT YOU SHOULD REMAIN TEACHABLE.
  • YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW AND WHEN TO ALLOW YOUR HUSBAND TO TAKE THE LEAD.
  • HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A PLACE HERE THE HUSBAND WAS ASKED A QUESTION BUT THE WIFE ANSWERED IT FOR HIM?
  • THAT IS EMBARRASSING AND DEGRADING TO THE MAN AND HARMFUL TO ANY MARRIAGE.
  • AS MINISTERS OF GOD, WHEN THAT HAPPENS IN OUR PRESENCE, WE MUST WAIT TILL THE WOMAN FINISHES HER ANSWERS
  • THEN LOOK THE MAN IN THE FACE AND ASK THE QUESTION AGAIN.
  • IF A WOMAN GIVES ALL THE ANSWERS AND MAKES ALL THE DECISIONS, THEN HER HUSBAND CANNOT BUILD HIS CONFIDENCE AND LEADERSHIP IN THE LORD.
  • YOU MAY KNOW MORE THAN YOUR HUSBAND.
  • YOU MAY HAVE BEEN CHRISTIAN LONGER THAN HIM, IN THAT CASE YOUR SHOW YOUR SPIRITUAL MATURITY AND BUILD YOUR HUSBAND UP.
  • GIVE HIM THE TIME TO SPEAK AND LET HIM LEAD.
  • REMEMBER, JEZEBEL IS NOT YOUR RELATIVE!
  • SARAH IS YOUR RELATIVE. 1 PETER 3: 1-6
  1. PRAISE HIM PUBLICLY
  • NOTHING IS MORE DEGRADING THAN SEEING A WOMAN DISRESPECT HER HUSBAND IN PUBLIC, IN THE PRESENCE OF OTHERS.
  • IT IS ABSOLUTE WRONG AND IT SIMPLY SHOWS THAT THE WOMAN IS POSSESSED OF HELL!
  • NEVER CRITICIZE YOUR HUSBAND TO OTHERS.
  • NEVER ALLOW ANYONE TO DO IT IN YOUR PRESENCE
  • RATHER STAND UP FOR HIM AND LET HIM SEE YOU DO IT.
  • ALWAYS BRAG ABOUT ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS HE`S DONE FOR YOU AND WHAT HE MEANS TO YOU.
  1. UNDERSTAND HIM
  • IN AFRICA, GIRLS ARE USUALLY TAUGHT TO SHY AWAY FROM SEX AND NOT TO SHOW EVEN OUR HUSBANDS THAT WE ARE INTERESTED IN PLAYING WITH THEM.
  • WE DON`T HUG OUR HUSBANDS, WE DON`T LIKE TO INITIATE KISSES, WE DON`T TELL THEM THAT WE LOVE THEM OR THAT THEY LOOK HANDSOME.
  • WE JUST STAND AT THE DOOR AND ASK FOR MONEY AND MAKE QUARRELSOME REMARKS.
  • SISTERS, YOUR HUSBANDS NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE JUST AS INTERESTED IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY WITH THEM AS THEY ARE WITH YOU.
  • YOU MUST HUG HIM, THROW YOUR ARMS AROUND HIM, SIT CLOSE TO HIM AND WATCH SOCCER WITH HIM., EVEN IF THAT IS SOMETHING YOU HATE VERY MUCH.
  • MAKE HIM FEEL THAT HE IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU.
  • STOP BEING SHY AND FEELING REJECTED WITH HIS COMPLAINTS OF “I`M TIRED, DON`T PLAY WITH ME,” I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT”
  • KEEP PLAYING WITH YOUR HUSBAND AND TEASING HIM.
  • IF YOUR HUSBAND IS A TYPICAL AFRICAN, HE MAY BE STIFF AT FIRST, BUT TELL HIM TO LOOSEN UP AND THAT THIS IS THE WILL OF GOD FOR THE MOMENT.
  • THE TRUTH IS, MANY AFRICANS, ARE DEALING WITH REJECTION, BECAUSE OF TRADITIONAL UPBRINGING.
  • AS YOU CONTINUE TO SHOW HIM LOVE, THOSE WALLS OF REFUSING AFFECTION WILL COME CRASHING DOWN!
  • BE THE TOOL OF LOVE AND AFFECTION IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD
  • GIVE EVERYONE IN THE HOME WHAT THEY LOVE TO EAT.
  • YOUR HUSBAND AND YOUR CHILDREN NEED YOU TO BREAKDOWN ALL THE COMMUNICATION BARRIERS IN THE HOME.
  • PRAYER IS GOOD, BUT AFTER PRAYERS, GOD WILL GIVE YOU WISDOM FOR VICTORY.
  • YOUR MAN NEEDS YOU TO UNDERSTAND WHY HE DOES WHAT HE DOES AND FEELS THE WAY HE FEELS ABOUT THINGS
  • LISTEN TO HIM WHEN HE TALKS AND WATCH WHAT HE DOES.
  • TAKE NOTICE OF THE WAYS IN WHICH HE TRIES TO SHOW YOU LOVE.
  • TRY TO GAIN INSIGHT INTO HIS WORLD AND WHAT HE DEALS WITH ON A DAILY BASIS.
  • WHAT IS HE GOING THROUGH AT WORK?
  • WHAT DOES HE DO AND WHAT ARE THE CHALLENGES?
  • ONCE YOU UNDERSTAND THOSE THINGS, YOU`VE GAINED INSIGHT INTO HIS WORLD AND HE WILL WANT YOU TO BE PART OF IT.
  • TAKE A TIME TO SEE WHAT`S HAPPENING IN YOUR HUSBAND`S LIFE
  • ONLY THEN CAN YOU DEVELOP THE SENSITIVITY THAT COMES WITH UNDERSTANDING.
  • PASTORS WIVES NOTE THAT MINISTRY WORD INVOLVES A LOT, COUNSELING BUSINESS CONTRACT, NEGOTIATION, BUYING OFFICE & CHURCH SUPPLIES, BANKING ETC.
  1. CARE FOR HIS CASTLE
  • A MANS HOME IS HIS CASTLE.
  • EVERYMAN NEEDS A CLEAN ORDERLY HOME
  • A MESSY HOUSE CAN MAKE A TIRED PERSON EVEN FEEL MORE TIRED.
  • IF YOU BOTH WORK, GET SOMEBODY TO HELP TIDY UP YOUR HOUSE.
  • TAKE PRIDE IN HOW CLEAN AND ORDERLY YOUR HOME IS
  • MAKE YOUR HOME AN ATTRACTIVE, INVITING PLACE THAT YOUR HUSBAND CAN`T WANT TO RETURN TO
  • LET THERE BE LAUGHTER IN YOUR HOME.
  • TALK ABOUT FUNNY THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED
  • YOU WILL FEEL MUCH BETTER WHEN YOU LAUGH EVERYDAY
  • YOU AND YOUR MAN NEED THAT HUMOUR TO ADD BALANCE TO YOUR LIVES
  • AS A WOMAN, YOU MUST STAY AS ATTRACTIVE AS POSSIBLE EVEN AT 50.
  • A MAN NEEDS HIS WIFE TO LOOK GOOD
  • TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF NO MATTER YOUR AGE.
  • WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT EXCESSES
  • IF YOU NEED TO SHED A FEW POUNDS OR COVER YOUR GRAY HAIR THEN DO SOMETHING
  • AFTER GOD YOUR FIRST PRIORITY IS YOUR HUSBAND, NOT YOUR JOB OR CHILDREN OR EVEN CHURCH COMMITMENTS.
  • FIND OUT WHAT HE NEEDS AND DO THEM TO THE GLORY OF GOD
  1. FINALLY, TRUST HIM
  • IF A WOMAN TELLS HER HUSBAND THAT SHE TRUSTS HIM THERE IS NOTHING HE WON`T DO FOR HER.
  • TRUST IS DIRECTLY TIED TO A MAN’S ABILITY TO ACHIEVE.
  • IT IS THE FUEL THAT GETS HIM TO THE SAME OLD JOB EVERYDAY, TRYING TO PUT HIS FAMILY FIRST.
  • MAY BE HE`S DONE SOMETHING IN THE PAST THAT DAMAGED OR DESTROYED THAT TRUST.
  • IF HE`S MAKING AN EFFORT TO REGAIN YOUR TRUST THEN HONOR HIS EFFORT.
  • WHILE IT IS TRUE THAT TRUST CANNOT BE REBUILT OVERNIGHT, YOU MUST STRIVE TO PUT IT BACK BRICK BY BRICK.
  • LET HIM KNOW THAT HE IS FORGIVEN
  • LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU ARE WILLING TO START AFRESH.
  • A WOMAN, WHO TRUSTS GOD, WILL ULTIMATELY TRUST HER HUSBAND AND BELIEVE AND KNOW THAT HE WILL NEVER BETRAY HER.
  • TRUST IS VITAL TO YOUR HUSBAND
  • A MAN MUST KNOW THAT HIS WOMAN BELIEVES IN HIM NO MATTER WHAT AND SHE IS WILLING TO FOLLOW HIM AS HE FOLLOWS THE LORD.
  • DO YOU TRUST GOD? THEN APPLY THAT SAME TRUST WITH YOUR HUSBAND AND LET HIM KNOW IT!
  • REMEMBER SISTERS, THE DEGREE OF HARMONY IN YOUR MARRIAGE WILL BE IN DIRECT PROPORTION TO HOW YOUR HUSBANDS NEEDS ARE MET.
  • YOU CAN SOLVE 95% OF THE CONFLICTS IN YOUR HOME BY IDENTIFYING YOUR HUSBANDS NEEDS AND FULFILLING THEM.

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